Book XXV: CHENEY, Appro@ched and Repro@ched
Steve Howards is filing a lawsuit
against a Secret Service agent
for arresting him for approaching
VPOTUS CHENEY in Beaver Creek
about his Iraq policies last Summer.
While walking his 7-year-old son
to piano practice, he saw CHENEY
surrounded by people in an outdoor mall,
shaking hands & posing for pictures, &
walked to within a few feet of CHENEY & said:
"I think your Iraq policies are reprehensible,"
& walked on & was quickly approached by
Secret Service agent Virgil D. "Gus" Reichle Jr.
who asked if he’d "assaulted" CHENEY.
He denied it, of course, as he
was handcuffed & taken to Eagle County Jail.
Eagle’s Dist.Attorney's Office has just
dismissed all charges, but Howards is suing for
being arrested for exercising his 1st-Amendment
right of free speech, & violating his 4th-Amendment
protection against unlawful search & seizure.
Book XXVI: CHENEY, Wins Little Girl’s He@rt & Mind
[TOPEKA, Kan., Oct. 12]
6-year-old Grace Mosier lives at home,
goes to birthday parties, takes ballet classes
just like lots of other little girls, but
she’s obsessed with VPOTUS CHENEY
thanx to the White House website for children;
“I really, really like him,” she says; she knows
what state he was born in, where he went
to grade school, the names of his dogs, favorite
teacher & that he used to run Halliburton.
When CHENEY came to Topeka, Grace was
at Forbes Field, little American flag in hand,
w/a sign: “Welcome, Mr. Vice President, pet
Dave & Jackson (your dogs) for me.”
“He’s like a rock star coming to our town,”
says Dene Mosier, Grace’s mother. CHENEY’s
an unusual object for a 6-year-old’s fixation,
but not in the heart of CHENEY Country:
hotel ballrooms, military bases, private homes
deep in the reddest of red states: Kansas
(where POTUS Bush and VPOTUS Cheney
won by 25 percentage points in 2004.) People
still love Bush in CHENEY Country; but since
POTUS can’t be everywhere, VPOTUS CHENEY
comes to build his his party’s base & raise $.
CHENEY flies around, Topeka last week,
Casper WY the week before, Wyoming MI,
the week before that, to events ignored
by national news media, but covered
by local press, raising big $ for his party
& its candidates: $4+M @ 114 events
since Jan. 2005, all in places like Topeka.
CHENEY reaps love.“How’s about a big
Kansas welcome for VPOTUS CHENEY!”
shouts 5-term Republican Rep. Jim Ryun.
CHENEY gets cheers, sustained applause,
even some loving war whoops. “Well, that
warm welcome's almost enough to make me
want to run for office again. Almost.”
CHENEY’s favorability ratings are below
POTUS’s ( 20% in the most recent NYT poll).
Critics deride him as a Prince of Darkness
swearing at a U. S. senator, shooting
a friend in a hunting accident, showing
he doesn’t care how he’ s perceived. Even
admirers of his intellect & steadiness
rarely say he electrifies rooms or people.
But listen to people at the Capitol Plaza Hotel
Manor ConferenceCenter in Topeka. “It’s just
such a big thrill to see & hear this man,” says
Marvin Smith, a farmer & former teacher:
“People I know feel the same way, except
for a few of those peacemakers” (protesters)
picketing down the street. “We love him here,”
says Susan Wagle, a KA state senator.
Sustained & rollicking ovations pulling
a rare smile up both sides of his mouth,
CHENEY delivers an old vpotential saw
about how 1st VPOTUS, John Adams
enjoyed Senate floor privileges, until revoked.
CHENEY's told it 48 times, but skips another
about himself as the 1 WY congressman:
"...a small delegation, but it was quality,"
that he's told 67+ times as VPOTUS.
He delivers his usual hommage to tax cuts,
warning about how terrorists are still trying
“to cause mass death here in the United States;”
derisively catalogues the “Dean Democrats,”
Rangel (NY), Waxman (CA), Frank (MA), whose
power will grow if Democrats take over Congress.
The crowd boos. “Don’t hold back,” CHENEY eggs;
the crowd laughs. It believes his unpopularity in polls
follows attacks from Democrats & “liberal media.
They throw so much trash at him, it’s just unbelievable,”
says Morris Thomason, a rancher in Belvidere, Kan.,
who grew up in Casper, WY, Cheney’s boyhood home,
spending his formative years with CHENEY who even
came to his 13th birthday; they water-skied together
in an irrigation canal near Casper. But he hasn’t spoken
to CHENEY since he was Bush 1 SECDEF or when
he was POTUS Ford's chief of staff Today, he won’t
see CHENEY up-close because it costs $1,000
for a photo op; his$100 ticket’s only for the speech.
“There was a peacefulness & a truthfulness
to this man that really caught my heart,”
says the R-congressman’s wife, Anne Ryun,
clutching a [Bush-Cheney 2000] placard
VPOTUS CHENEY had just autographed.
She spoke briefly to CHENEY to tell him
she was praying for him, saying his wife, Lynne,
“is the most gracious, intelligent woman
I’ve ever known of,” & she wants to model
her life after her, her voice going soft,
her eyes going a little glassy.
While CHENEY spoke, 6-year-old Grace
stayed behind at the airport, getting a solo
tour of Air Force 2, wowing Secret Service agents
with her CHENEY knowledge (exceeding theirs),
a 6yr old prodigy of CHENEYism in Topeka.
Book XXVII: CHENEY--W@ter-Bo@rding ‘No Br@iner’
Water-boarding: holding the head under water or
pouring water on cloth/cellophane over the nose & mouth
simulating drowning, until the head agrees to talk or confess.
Banned by U.S. law & international treaties on torture; the
U.S. Army, Republican lawmakers, experts on human rights
& laws of war call waterboarding cruel, inhumane & degrading.
CHENEY admits captured al-Qaida suspects
were water-boarded: “Wouldn’t you agree a dunk
in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives? It's
a no-brainer for me, but for a while there, I was
criticized as being the vice president ‘for torture.’
We don't torture. That's not what we're involved in;
we live up to our international treaty obligations;
you can have a fairly robust interrogation program
w/out torture & we need to be able to do that."
Lee Ann McBride, CHENEY’s spokeswoman
denied CHENEY admitted using water-boarding
or endorsed the technique."VPOTUS CHENEY
referred to an interrogation program w/out torture,
& never goes into techniques/methods of questioning."
Book XXVIII: CHENEY on the Porcel@in Throne
pulls the constitutional-roll out
reaching Article I, section 3,
snarling at his Vpotential brief:
"…shall be President of the Senate,
but shall have no Vote, unless
they be evenly divided" swiftly
wiping his vpotential butt with it,
flushing it with cold rage. “Powers,
my vpotential butt,“ he snarls, his
hardening cloaca blocked by laws
the Founders put in place, chanting
“Power comes from the barrell
of my vpotential butt!” his bowels
expel rock-like turds, filling up
the porcelain throne, raising him
to a hardening vpotential height.
Book XXIX: VPOTUS CHENEY Wrings Both Hands
The latest Evans-Novak Political Report suggests
the way POTUS Bush fired DEFSEC Rumsfeld
caused considerable friction in the White House.
"Even VPOTUS Dick Cheney is said to be pro-
foundly disturbed by Rumsfeld's treatment."
VPOTUS CHENEY wrings both hands
as he snarls on the porcelain throne,
cyber-heart thumping mechanically.
“I could be next! That punkass POTUS
sunafabitch’s no man@all, no man@all.
Fuckin’ Ke-rist, I was elected, I got votes!
I sucked in shitloads of votes both times!”
His cyber-heart pumps his roasting nuts
dangling in the throne’s chilly-water pool,
raising hot white steam all around him.
“I made that punkass POTUS look real;
I’m the real POTUS & everyone knows it.
I’ll pull the plug on that punkass POTUS.”
As he pulls the chain to flush the steam,
the porcelain throne explodes, blowing
him into a blizzard of ex-vpotential flesh.
Book XXX: CHENEY’s Desperate Wraith Sweeps
CHENEY’s desperate wraith sweeps
the sands in search of old oil-allies
in the boiling hours of Iraqi civil-war;
Saudies welcome his sandy wraith
with open arms & oily love-kisses
as it dissolves into a sandy mound.
Who shall raise it? What oily spell
can reconstitute this sandy VPOTUS
as an man of moilmentum? Speak,
oilmen & oil-masters, speak oilily
to this drily whispering sand-wraith:
Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil Oil!
Book XXXI: CHENEY'S Holid@ys Greeting Card
Careful to offend only 'gutlesss' liberals,
CHENEY'S Greeting Card for the Holidays
is awhirl with red, white & blue sandstorms
surging towards a city burning in the desert,
which, lest any 'gutless' liberals wonder, is
(doubtlessly) American-occupied Baghdad.
Burn, Baghdad, awaiting surging Americans,
coming again to mop-up the mess they began.
Once again, the shuddering shock is theirs,
but from IEDs exploding on deadly roadsides,
not aerial fireworks provoking instant surrender.
What's on the ground lies dead on the ground.
Book XXXII: CHENEY to Rumsfeld to Ford
Gerry Ford, Hoover’s zombie,
chewing gum, stumbles upon
CHENEY & Rumsfeld plotting
in a White House blackout cellar.
“Hi-ya guys, how-zit hangin’?”
ol’ wooden-head asks; they grin;
Gerry’s dumber than The Post,
truly clueless & dependably so.
Maize & Blue Ford’ll forever-be
that leather- helmeted U of M
3-year (1932-4) letterman,
center, linebacker, ’34 MVP.
“Kin I turn a light on?’ sez Gerry;
“nfw, MVP, nfw,” sez CHENEY.
Book XXXIII: CHENEY - The Dark Side
On 9/11, deep inside a White House bunker, Vice President Dick Cheney ordered U.S. fighter planes to shoot down any commercial airliner still in the air above America. At that moment, CIA Director George Tenet met with his counter-terrorism team in Langley, Virginia. Both leaders acted fast, to prepare their country for a new kind of war. But soon a debate would grow over the goals of the war on terror, and the decision to go to war in Iraq. (more »)--PBS - WGBH-TV, Cambridge MA, The Dark Side, Jan. 2, 2007 at 9pm
On 9/11, deep inside a White House bunker,
VPOTUS Cheney ordered U.S. fighter planes
2shoot down any commercial airliner still
in the air above America. At that moment,
CIA Director George Tenet met with his
counter-terrorism team in Langley, Virginia.
Both leaders acted fast, 2prepare their country
for a new kind of war. But soon...a debate
would grow over the goals of the war on terror,
& the decision 2go2 war in Iraq...
"Click over to FOX, g'dammit," snaps CHENEY;
"Gutless documentaries suck-wind, besides,
I know how this one'll end up: I get an Oscar!"
Rove, speechless, trembles, barfs on the rug.
"Lick that barf up, turd-blossom!" drawls Dubya;
"A cowboy cleans-up after hisself, dammit!"
Book XXXIV: CHENEY's m@ssive
CHENEY's m@ssive dong dangles
from his manicured hand, "No, no,
that's 2 faggy", he thinks, perched
above the city on a chilly windowsill
as he contemplates a stony leap.
Naked, facing a city that made him,
he admits 2 being utterly defeated,
a VPOTUS gone utterly impotent.
Hard thoughts for a man who wars
on the gutless, liberal, concessive,
Democratic ass-wiping congress:
"What they wipe they know not."
he fulminates, his bareass freezing
to the chilly granite windowsill.
CHENEY’s m@ssive member surges
with renewed energy, its essential moil
peaking for a final glorious moment.
“Piss on them while I’m still The M@n!”
he bellows from his chilly windowsill
above the city of granite monuments.
“My power’s still in my own hand,”
2 command armies surging over sand.
“My vision’s sharper now than ever!”
he hisses; his glasses drop far below,
shattering on frosted Pennsylvania Ave.
lost among random headlight fragments.
Who can distinguish his from the others?
CSI, of course, in its upcoming special.
Book XXXV: Seeking the HyperPOTUS
Let's seek VPOTUS CHENEY in allies
of neo-national re-boughtten souls, in a rue
of commerce, on Street of Wall, on boards
of bigness, electronic exchanges of stock.
Do we see him in his true form, or is it only
his shimmering reflection on glassy towers
when we pass them by at speeds set by law?
Can we tell one from the other? CHENEY's
not what we see him as, nor do we see him.
He doesn't really see us; he just sees thru us,
in2 the future of his hyper-apotheotical role
as HyperPOTUS: He who rises to the Hype.
Somewhere it's daytime, somewhere night,
somewhere neither, CHENEY, nowhere.
Book XXXVI: Finding the HyperPOTUS
We have found him in the re-hardening
language of a POTUS who is even surer
that re-force is our solution. CHENEY
informs his resolution. He is his strength.
Heart of metal, bowels of brass, mind
of re-forged steel, all of these resound.
None of these are ours, we all talk about
just how he got here, where we go next.
CHENEY is his pole star, his cold light,
his eYe, ignoring many glittering points.
Enumerating them, most agree he’s lost.
What’s lost when you’re still POTUS?
Lost confidence? Hardly. Lost hope? No.
Lost the popular mandate? HyperPOT…
(To be continued.)
Bill Costley serves on the Steering Committee of the San Francisco chapter of the National Writers Union.